Sunday, January 27, 2008

Midnight Rant

I can't sleep. Grr.

It's not because of Lance. He's sound asleep.

It's not because Hubby is snoring. He's not.

It's because I drank caffeine with my dinner tonight. Not a lot of it, mind you. Just a kid-sized soft drink (Diet Coke specifically) from Boston Market on our way home from church tonight. I thought it would be harmless.

Nope!

I broke my own rule. I know that if I consume caffeine past 4 p.m. that I will have a miserable time getting to sleep without additional chemical assistance. (By which I mean Benadryl.) I don't like taking Benadryl just to get to sleep. I don't think God designed our bodies to absorb all these chemicals all the time. (I'm not anti-cold medicine when I need it, of course.)

But ya see, I haven't had a Diet Coke for several days. I'm trying to wean myself off of the stuff because I know it's not healthy. But when we went to pick up our dinner and ordered Lance a kid's meal, it came with a drink and I didn't want to waste it! We knew we would be giving Lance milk at home with his dinner. We didn't order drinks for ourselves for the same reason. The kid's meal just comes with it. I can't help it if the people who plan the meal combos decide to put a drink with a kid's meal but not with an adult meal!

So it's their fault.

Can you sue someone for sleep deprivation?

Hee hee. Before you know it, the soda cups will have this warning label printed on them:

WARNING: If you use this cup to consume caffeine in the late afternoon/early evening, it is possible you will have trouble falling asleep. By purchasing this beverage, you agree to hold (Name of Our Restaurant) and its affiliates, parent companies, and subsidiaries harmless for any damages or losses suffered due to sleep deprivation. Any disputes arising in this matter will be adjudicated according to the laws of the state of (Name of Your State or Province If You Are One of My Canadian Readers).

LOLOLOLOLOL

I crack myself up sometimes.

Sleep deprivation encourages hilarity, I suppose.

Maybe I should be a comedian.

Maybe I should forget going back to school and start a career as a comedian.

So I wonder if I can get That Restaurant to pay off my student loans since I won't be needing my degree to be a comedian.

Because it's Their Fault that their menu planners include a drink with a kid's meal and not with the adult meal, and thus I am awake at 1 am contemplating becoming a comedian.

Now we have to edit the warning label as follows:

ADDITIONALY, the consumption of caffeine at a late hour may also cause you to doubt the course of your future. By purchasing and drinking this beverage, you agree that you will not hold (Name of Our Restaurant) responsible for any debts incurred while pursuing your education, which you no longer need because you're going to become a comedian.

2 comments:

the dragonfly said...

I hope you got some sleep. I didn't get much, but it had nothing to do with anything...I just don't sleep well. It's been ages since I had a full night of sleep.

Damselfly said...

I think you should become a comedian.

Two babies walk into a bar . . . .