Saturday, May 31, 2008

Letter to Lance

My precious, precious boy,

A couple days ago, you turned 18 months old.

It's taken you months and months, but you have finally learned to call me "Mama." I wondered if you would ever figure out that "Daddy" was not my name, too.

You love to look for bugs when we go outside.

If we would let you, you would climb on all the furniture. You're such a little monkey!

Your favorite way to spend the evening is in Daddy's lap, drinking chocolate milk that he made specially for you. Then you climb out of his lap, climp up into mine, and we read stories together.

You love to fall asleep to the sounds of Norah Jones, Petra, Kenny Loggins, and Sting.

You have a whole roomful of stuffed animals, but your favorite is a small teddy bear that belonged to me when I was a little girl.

Your vocabulary has expanded to include the following words:


You used to like going to Miss Beckie's for a haircut, but for some reason, you're afraid of it now.

You're also afraid of the vacuum cleaner, when it runs. If it's not running, you think it's great fun to pull all the attachments off of it and hide them around the house.

During a thunderstorm, I take you to the back patio and we sit under the screened-in porch and watch the rain come down. If it starts lightning, only then do we go back inside. Then we stand at the window and watch the storm pass by. Sometimes you get scared and you want me to hold you close, yet you can't take your eyes off the sky because it fascinates you.

The ladies who work in the church nursery just love you to pieces.

I can't say that I blame them!

You make my world a sweet place to be. Nap well, little one, and when you wake I shall scoop you up in my arms and kiss you, and you will smile at me-- the kind of smile that fills a mommy's heart with warm sunshiny love.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

I've Had It.

Enough is enough. I've had it.

People can be so inconsiderate it just makes me sick. It seems that I have had a personal, face-to-face encounter with every single person who never learned how to behave in public.

The last few days have been fraught with rudeness. The last straw today was when I was ordering my lunch at Chick-Fil-A, my favorite fast food place. I was standing there, placing my order, the cashier was pushing the buttons for "#1 combo with fries and large Coke" when someone walked right up and demanded a soup spoon.

Hello? Am I invisible? Am I mute? I'm in the middle of a word here, people, and this very impolite individual just barged right up without any consideration whatsoever. While I'm not saying she should have waited in line again, could she not have waited the 15 seconds for me to finish speaking? All I could do was stare at this person. Where are all the good comebacks when you really need them?

I wouldn't be surprised if when that person was a young child, their school report card said "Does not play well with others."

Guinevere's Thoughts On Shoes

I am not like most women in the United States. (I am not familiar with the shoe-purchasing habits of women in other countries, but I imagine it is similar in other civilized Western nations. Please forgive me if I have offended a nationality by my comments on shoe purchases.)

I do not enjoy buying new shoes. Shoe shopping, to me, is a chore. It is something to put off until your other shoes have fallen apart. I do not have fifteen bazillion pair of shoes. A pair of sneakers, a couple pairs of sandals, one pair each of black and brown "dressy" shoes, and a pair of spiky-heeled boots for when the tigress in me demands to come out. ;)

Yesterday, my third pair of sandals fell apart so it was time for some shoe shopping.

If I didn't enjoy shoe shopping before toddlerhood, it is even much less enjoyable now. At least before I had time to stand still, my eyes savoring the sight before me, analyzing the pros and cons of each possible pair of shoes. Would they be comfortable? Would I be able to wear them with the clothes I had, or would the purchase of a particular pair of shoes necessitate the purchase of additional clothing?

Now, however, I have a squirming toddler in the shopping cart who doesn't like the cart to remain still. (You should see us in the grocery store. It's like those game shows where the people run up and down the aisles, throwing their items in the cart at lightning speed, not caring if they smush the bread with the three dozen eggs they just tossed in.) Yes, I buy shoes in stores that have shopping carts. Most specifically, Target. I hate shoe shopping, so I hate spending a lot of money on them.

But I digress. I am pleased to announce that yesterday, in record time, I found three pairs of shoes that are comfortable, will go with the clothes I have, look cute, and are comfortable. You see, the last couple of times I purchased shoes they looked fantastic but they blistered my feet beyond recognition. Why do we do this to ourselves? I don't get it.

I found a pair of simple black ballet flats,

sorry- this picture just did *not* come out well

some sandals with a low heel (some may call it a "wedge"- I'm not up on current shoe terminology),

and a fantastic leopard-print pair of flip-flops.

I live in South Florida, so flip-flops are a necessity. Additionally, my house is mostly tile floor, and tile can be really rough on your back. My chiropractor encourages me to wear shoes even when I'm in the house, and I've found that it really does make a big difference. So you see I love my cushy flip-flops. I'm wearing them right now, in fact.

So there are my thoughts on shoes.

Thanks for listening.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Fun With Daddy!

Yesterday evening, Hubby wanted to go swimming. Since we have moved into our new house, we have spent many evenings together splashing around while the light of the day faded into a glorious sunset.

Last night, however, the water was just a little too chilly for my comfort. I decided that it would be a good opportunity to take some photos of my boys!

Daddy, throw me up, up, up, in the skyyyyy!!!!

What an impish little grin my boy gives me! I took care not to let any splashes ruin my digital camera!

We found this little fish toy at the local grocery store (weird) and Lance thinks it's great fun to chase it around the pool. He can't quite pronounce "fish," it comes out more like "bush" and is rather funny, as it goes.!

I love the expressions on their faces here! Lance is obviously Daddy's boy. (To my husband's extraordinary relief!)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Magnetic Monday: Never Create Sacred Moments Badly

Remember when I talked about the magnetic poetry kit my good pal Damselfly gave me as a housewarming gift? Well, she had the fantastic idea that we should start a new weekly blog feature called "Magnetic Monday" in which we share our creations.

I know it's not Monday, but I had a party yesterday (which turned out to be lots of fun after all!) and didn't get around to it. Please forgive the poor picture quality; Hubby has still not hooked up our card reader to the computer (it is still residing in an as-yet-unpacked-box somewhere in this quagmire he calls an office,) so I have been relegated to taking a photo with my phone's camera which is pretty pathetic.

If you've got a set of these, feel free to join us every Monday (or whatever day you feel like it) in sharing our magnetic poetry creations!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

It's My Party (and I'll cry if I want to!)

Feeling bummed out. Hubby and I are supposed to be hosting a Memorial Day BBQ/pool party tomorrow for a large amount of our friends.

Two days ago, we found out that the vast majority of the people who were planning on coming over here decided to ditch us and go to someone else's party instead.

Are we in middle school, people??!!!! This party was primarily for the people in our bible study group. They were going to come over at 4, we would BBQ, play in the pool and enjoy each other's company, and then break off to do our bible study. We also invited some of our other friends from the church that are not in this particular study to join us for the BBQ. This was going to be the first party we threw at our new home. We were really excited about it; D and J do a Christmas party every year, we all celebrate New Year's at B and R's place, H and J have a 4th of July shindig, so we thought our house would become the place to be for Memorial Day.

So imagine my disappointment when I am informed by someone in the bible study group that "the group decided to go to C's BBQ instead and then we'll come to your house for the Bible study."

What!!!! I'm sorry, how can someone else cancel my event without asking me first or giving me a reason?

As I make phone calls to get to the bottom of this, I find out that C's BBQ has been planned for months and was also a surprise birthday party for one of our group members. C was supposed to call everyone in our group to remind us of this, but apparently she didn't because last week when we planned this whole thing, no one said , "Hey, don't forget about C's BBQ next week that we're all invited to." She certainly didn't call me, which is highly inconsiderate since I'm the one hosting the Memorial Day BBQ!

So I've been a little grumpy. Trying to take things in stride, but ya know what? It hurts my feelings just the same.

We're still having our party. Three people are coming.

We're going to have the best party ever, darnit!

That'll show them.

Friday, May 23, 2008


*warning: this post is not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach.*

I need help from all you more experienced moms.

Lance seems to have a little stomach bug-- he woke up two nights ago vomiting, and he's had diarrhea for two days now. I can't get him to eat very much solid food AT ALL. I managed to get him to eat a few grapes earlier, but that's all he's had all day. I've been trying the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, apples, tea and toast,) but he'll have none of it. So in lieu of food, I've been giving him lots of liquids- mostly milk and gatorade, for the electrolytes. Should I worry about him not eating, or is this normal? Aside from the messy diapers, he doesn't seem to be in any discomfort. He's just as energetic as always!

This is the first time he's been sick like this- even as a newborn, he was never a pukey baby. Hardly ever spat up. So I'm at a loss for what to do!

Thanks in advance!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Random Blah-ness

If you've been following me on Twitter, then you know that I'm sick. Nasty sick. Bronchitis, sinus infection, sore throat, etc etc etc. I like to call it "The Crud."

Anyhoo. I have been prescribed four medications to get me out of this crud: an antibiotic, an inhaler, a decongestant, and a nighttime cough syrup. I didn't have them all filled, just the antibiotic and and the inhaler because, hello? My medicine cabinet is stuffed full of decongestants and cough syrups and I am morally opposed to spending money on unnecessary medication.

I think I might audition for American Idol this next season if they hold auditions in Miami again. Just for fun. And heck, maybe I could land a record contract.

If I actually do this and make it to the finals, I would want to go on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson because he's just stinkin' hilarious. "It's been a great day for America, everyone!" "Has there been a MURDER??!!" "Have we got a picture of Paul McCartney?" So Craig, if you're reading this and I audition for American Idol next season and make it to the finals, please let me come on your show! Oh, and I'd also have to go on Rachael Ray because she is just awesome. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't know how to cook. At all.

The AC repairman is coming later. Our AC is working fine, but the unit is leaking water all over our garage. In the heat and humidity of Florida, I am assured that this is a common and easily fixable problem. (SO glad we're renting!! Landlord can foot the bill on this one!)

I guess that's enough Random Blah-ness for one afternoon. Lance is sleeping, time for another dose of meds.

Have a great night and tip your waitresses!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

The reason I am not in bed right now... because this evening, the minister of music at my church asked, no BEGGED, me if I could please, please, help him with the conducting for tomorrow's choir and orchestra production. They did a performance tonight, and I thought it was remarkably good compared to previous performances by the same group, but he has to conduct both the choir and orchestra, which is quite a laborious task. (I apologize for that horrific run-on sentence. My brain is fried.) It's always best to have two conductors. I have filled in for him in the past when he has been gone for a weekend and I can read music. However, the Reverend must think much more highly of my musical ability if he thinks I can learn an hour-long choral production in one night.

So here I am, sitting at my computer with the CD in the CD-ROM drive (because the only other operational CD player in the house is in Lance's room) with my head buried in this music, circling the dynamic markings, checking for the repeat signs and codas, looking for time signature changes and praying to high heaven that I will be able to make sense out of this and be useful tomorrow.

(Here comes the part where I get all childish and whiny.) Tomorrow was supposed to be my day to sleep in. (My husband and I generally attend our church's Saturday evening service.) I've been battling an icky cough and I was really looking forward to relaxing tomorrow, but it was clear from the performance tonight that the choir really does need the extra help, so I agreed.

Maybe if I start saying "no" once in awhile, people will stop asking me to do outlandish things at the last minute like this... don't get me wrong, I like helping out, but this is a very big job and I have a small child to care for and a sore throat to nurse. Grumble grumble groan bad words.

Hopefully my bad attitude will be gone by tomorrow. Thank goodness for blogs, I can get all this rubbish out of my system and arrive at the church with a much better spirit.

Friday, May 16, 2008

A Peek Back in Time

Lance will be 18 months old at the end of May.

I spent part of today going through my photo files. I was just uploading some new pictures, and decided to go back into last year's May folder to see how much Lance has changed. It's quite a shock. He went from this:

To this:

My smiling, joyful, full of bursts-of-sunshine boy.

Don't grow too fast, sweetheart. I don't want to miss anything.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Persecute Majestic Fish with a Loud Trumpet of Death

Some very dear friends of ours gave us a set of "magnetic poetry" as a housewarming gift. (For those who don't know, it is a set of magnets. Each magnet has a word on it, and you can make up all sorts of sentences and phrases on your refrigerator. It provides hours of amusement.)

This was a particularly appropriate gift. You see, these friends have the same thing at their house. Whenever I go over there, I like to leave them a surprise. Sometimes it takes them a long time to notice that there is a new phrase on their refrigerator door.

I would like to share with you now some of the truly inspired words I have come up with. This set was themed to be "Christian" so it has words like majestic, eternal, heavenly, sin, God, etc. I intend to keep a running list, as I need some of these words to make more sentences and phrases, but I don't want to lose my work. Some of them are profound, some of them are just downright silly, and some may even be sacreligious.

not too patient she is
gentle and almost righteous
forgive everything
persecute majestic fish with a loud trumpet of death
they who teach weeping daughters will inspire eternal beauty through lessons of everlasting kindness

My sister left me the following gems on her recent weekend visit:
preach in a whisper
jesus save this bad man from hell
I command you to embrace only red singing angels and believe in radiant bread

tee hee hee. I can't wait until Lance is older and has writing assignments to do for school. Or when he has to write sentences using his vocabulary words. It'll be loads of fun.

As soon as Hubby gets my camera equipment hooked up to the computer, I'll take a photo of the side of my refrigerator and show you these works in progress. :)

Monday, May 12, 2008

To My Friend

There was a misunderstanding this week.

We didn't realize how important it was.

Things you said were misunderstood. Things we said were misinterpreted.

It was awkward that evening, no one knew what to say.

I miss you.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Maybe I'm a little too ambitious.

Maybe I just want yet again to show off the genius of my son.

Maybe I'm just sick and tired of changing diapers, but...

We're beginning to potty-train Lance. Not serious, hard-core potty training, but we're starting to introduce him to the idea. We bought him a little potty chair which we keep in the bathroom next to the "big potty," and we're starting to teach him the words associated with it. (He now points at the bathroom door and exclaims. "Pot-TY!" ) I change his diapers now in the bathroom, and have him sit on his potty for a minute. He seems to enjoy sitting on his potty, he just hasn't figured out yet what he's supposed to do in it!

I very nearly purchased pull-up training pants in the grocery store today, but I thought that might be taking it too far.

In a couple of months, I will be returning to school for my internship. It will be the equivalent of working a full-time job. Lance will be in the care of two very loving people during the day, and I would really like him to at least be on the way to potty-trained by that time. Many people tell me that boys don't usually train until they're 3 or 4, but I've also heard of many people whose little boys trained at 18-22 months.

Lance will be 18 months at the end of May.

So maybe it's not too ambitious.

I'm just not going to get stressed out about it. We'll see how it goes.