Wednesday, April 30, 2008

"Don't rub that sausage on your face!"

Ooh boy, I'll get some interesting google hits on this entry!!

The other day, we were expecting to have some guests over for an evening meal, so we prepared some appetizers: chips and dip, veggies, and my personal favorite party food- cocktail wieners in BBQ sauce. We ended up not having the guests over because I hurt my back and had to go to the doctor right away (everything's fine now,) but anyway, we had a huge crockpot full of these little bitty sausages.

So we served them up for our own dinner. We cut them up even smaller for Lance and put them on his high chair tray. He devoured them. There was BBQ sauce dripping all down his face and down the legs of the high chair.

He got full, and then bored, so he decided to play with his food. He must have seen me putting on my makeup that morning, because I look over at him, and he is rubbing his face with one of these little sausages. All over his little face. BBQ sauce everywhere.

And then I utter a phrase I never thought I would hear myself say:

"Don't rub that sausage on your face!"

What are some of the weirder things you have said now that you have become a parent?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

If It Were a Snake, It Would Have Bit Me

It's been one of those days. One of those terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days.

It all started innocently enough: a good friend suggested a fun outing. A local ice cream place was offering free ice cream cones today. So we packed ourselves up, strapped the kids in, and made the trek. We arrived, and they weren't open yet. Not for another hour.

So we decide to have lunch. The mall in which the ice cream place was located had a fun, kid-friendly place to eat complete with a play area!! Lance eagerly hops out of his stroller, starts to climp inside the tower, realizes he can't see me anymore, and freaks out. I have to climb up this toddler-sized tunnel and rescue him. I feel like a big old beetle trying to squirm through an antfarm.

Time to eat; Lance doesn't want to stay in his high chair but wants to sit on the booth next to me. OK, no problem, let's ask the waiter for a booster seat instead.

He climbed right out of it, over, under, on top of, and around, me. Made it impossible to carry on any kind of conversation with my two friends.

The check arrives! Thank goodness, let's get out of here, swipe my credit card, sign the receipt, pack up the diaper bag.

My keys have disappeared.

This is not good; I am at a MASSIVE shopping mall which is in fact a tourist attraction, I am over half an hour away from my house. Am I stuck??

Well, no, praise be to Lord Almighty that I have a spare key in my purse. This in itself is a miracle; I never carried my spare key before; it always hung on the peg by the door. When we moved, I stuck the key in my purse, and thankfully, it was still there. I would also be able to get into the house because I know the code to open the garage, but how embarassing to call my landlord less than a week after moving in and beg for a new key?? I dread making this phone call.

I ask every restaurant employee if someone turned in my keys. I leave my phone number at the front desk. I ask the guys at the cell phone kiosk if they've seen my keys. We beg the employee who is climbing around the play area to clean up after a kid who peed inside of it to look for my keys, the sweet man does so, but finds nothing. We scan the parking lot. We go into a neighboring restaurant, inquire if anyone turned in some keys, I leave my phone number there too.

Friends and I head out of the mall back towards the ice cream shop for our free ice cream, since it should be open by now. I'm not in such a good mood. There's a little black cloud hovering over me. I get my ice cream, offer some to Lance, he's not interested. I head back to my car, hoping against hope that my keys are inside of it. When we arrived at the mall, Lance needed to be changed so I plopped him on the front seat and could very easily have set my keys down on the car floor.

Grumble, grumble, bad words, they're not there. I walk back toward the ice cream shop where friends are keeping Lance entertained. I report that my keys are still gone. They give me appropriately sympathizing looks and assure me it will all be OK.

After friends finish their ice cream, we all head back to the cars because both babies (Lance and my friend's kiddo) are ready for their naps. Friends take a turn looking in my car for my keys. They don't find them either. One of the friends says, "Let me take a look in your diaper bag." I say, "Go ahead, I looked in there three times. Knock yourself out."

Wouldn't you know it, she found them??!! There they were, that whole time, in the bottom of my diaper bag, underneath a white plastic thingy that I had mistaken for the bottom of the bag, so I didn't look underneath it.

I felt immediately and terribly remorseful for leading my friends on such a wild goose chase and for being in such an unpleasant mood. Friend #2 is moving away in a month, so what could have been a fun afternoon turned into a miserable search with a grumpy stick-in-the-mud. (Me.)

My mother and sister must be laughing at me. Ever since I can remember, my mom has teased me for not finding things that I think have gone missing. One of her favorite phrases is, "If it were a snake, it would've bit ya!"

(So uh, Natalie? Please don't tell Mom about this...)

Oh and by the way, I injured my back a few days ago doing laundry, so any time that once would have been dedicated to blogging was instead dedicated to laying down on an ice pack. I've got a lovely bruise from where my chiropractor had to dig so deep into a muscle to get a knot out. So that's why I still haven't brought you pictures and stories of the move.

One of these days I'll get my head screwed on right.

Until then, I promise to always carry a spare key in my purse, and the next something goes missing, I'll ask Friend #2 to come find it for me.

Friday, April 25, 2008

All moved in!!

Finally, at long last, we are moved in. As I type this, Hubby is over at the old apartment, gathering up the last couple boxes of random stuff and also painting the place back to white. Most of the boxes here are unpacked, though things aren't arranged exactly the way we like.

Pictures and stories to come. Going to bed now.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Moving Day Cometh

Moving to the New House on Tuesday...busy with packing...and unpacking....and painting...and replacing cabinet hardware...and packing...and keeping Lance out of the pile of boxes...and packing...and cleaning...and keeping Lance out of the pile of boxes...and figuring out what to make for dinner when ALL my cookware is packed...and keeping Lance out of the boxes...

I'll be back in a few days, mmmkay?

Monday, April 14, 2008

hugs and kisses

Lance is such an affectionate little boy!! Right now he loves to come up to me and hug my leg while I'm standing in the kitchen, cooking or doing dishes. This evening, my husband was making himself a sandwich, and I was standing in the kitchen just chatting with him about the day. Lance went back and forth between us, hugging Hubby's leg, then coming over to me and hugging mine. He probably did this 15 times! It was just so cute, Hubby and I were both laughing so hard!

He doesn't just hug. He looks up at you, into your eyes, and lets out a contented sigh. "Ahhhhhhh..."

He also likes to give kisses!! There's one little boy that Lance plays with several times a week. He tries so hard to give his little friend a kiss, but the friend freaks out a little bit. I imagine him saying. "Hey man, don't do that..." lol!

Tonight we were reading a bedtime story called "Babycakes." One page says, "Kiss my little babycakes on the nose." Usually at that point, I kiss Lance's nose. Tonight, he leaned into the book and kissed the picture of the baby!! Every time I turned the page, he leaned over and kissed the picture. It was just adorable. How I wish I could have gotten it on tape!

Florida Parenting Blog

Hey, all you Florida moms--

My good pal Holly has started a blog for us Florida mommies. It's called Tropic of Mom and it's super-fantastic. (I hope she'll let me write over there! Please, pretty please, Holly? With a cherry on top??)

Friday, April 11, 2008

Of Drop Cloths and Good Intentions

New house. New carpet. New owners=new paint jobs.

Paint jobs= drop cloths, painter's tape, levels and pencils (for marking off tape lines to create a cute little paint effect a la "Trading Spaces")

Ladders, trays, rollers, brushes...

Drop cloths.


Big blue spot on new carpet in new house.

Painter's tape + popcorn ceiling = tape falling down around me the moment I step off the ladder. 20 minutes of my life wasted.


Completely useless? No, I suppose I burned a few extra calories going up and down and up and down that stupid ladder.

Fallen tape?

Big blue spots on popcorn ceiling.


It's too bad nobody had a hidden camera in there. I could have won a lot of money on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


Yesterday I wrote about a troubling situation that occurred in our church nursery. Today, one of our pastors came to our weekly mom's group meeting and we discussed in detail the facts of what actually happened.

I am happy to report that much of the story that I heard and shared with you was blown way out of proportion. While I disagree with the church's decision not to inform us sooner, I also understand that they didn't want to cause a panic over something that really wasn't as big of a deal as it has been perceived. (I know there are some who will disagree with me about that last statement.) There were also some legal considerations they had to deal with.

The church has taken steps to ensure that things like this will not happen again.

Unfortunately, stereotypes, racism, and sexism are alive and well in our society and even in our churches. Those issues combined with a specific situation caused fear, panic, and anxiety. Some people have chosen to leave the church as a result of misinformation regarding this situation.

I believe that Lance is as safe as he can be in the nursery, and is cared for by people who truly care about him. While it's true that at any time something tragic can occur, I will not allow myself to live in fear of what might happen. If I did that, I would never step outside of my own front door.

I am, however, going to write a letter to the proper administration informing them of my displeasure in the way the situation was handled. They waited way too long to inform the parents of what happened, and action was not taken soon enough to rectify the problem.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Can This Be Real?

I'm in a state of shock.

I found out this morning that recently, one of the workers in our church nursery brought a gun to the nursery and was showing it to the children.

He was told not to bring it again. He was not immediately fired on the spot, even though such a thing is a crime. I have heard that he no longer works in the nursery, although I don't know if he was eventually fired or if he resigned.

I don't know if this happened when my son was there or not.

Tomorrow morning during our weekly mom's group meeting, someone from the church office is going to come and give us the facts of the situation. Unfortunately, rumors and gossip have already made the rounds and I've heard a few different stories about this particular nursery worker.

I want to withold judgment, but at the same time, I'm a little bit scared to take Lance to the church nursery. If my son isn't safe in a church nursery with me in the next building, where is he safe??

Please pray that God will give me wisdom and discernment to see the truth through the lies, and also pray for the children's safety tomorrow. I don't want to live in fear, but neither do I want to put my child in danger! I will update you with more info as soon as I have it.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Run, Lance, RUN!!!

Last night we attended the Mercedez-Benz Corporate 5K Run. Hubby and I were "support staff" for the runners-- he manned the food table, I took a few pictures and recorded everyone's time. We brought Lance along with us-- the race site was in a lovely park in downtown Ft. Lauderdale along the Intracoastal Waterway. I knew Lance would enjoy seeing all the big yachts going by.

Here is a picture of Lance and I sitting comfortably under our team's tent. Yes, he has a monkey on his back. (I just love baby leashes! It was nice to be able to let him down and walk around without being afraid that someone would snatch him or that he would wander away from me. For the most part, he stuck close to us, but he liked seeing new people and exploring the park, too!)

There was a little stage area where a DJ was set up. Lance likes to dance to music, so I took him up onto the stage during "I Will Survive" and he was a little dancing fool. Unfortunately I have no pictures of it, but it was just too cute!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Stop the world, please...I'd like to get off...

My head is spinning. Whirling around wildly, threatening at any moment to liberate itself from the confines of this mortal body.

Yesterday: Doctor appointment in the morning, trip to the New House to drop stuff off in the evening.

Today: Music rehearsal with kid in church band.

Tonight: Participate in Hubby's Corporate Run; I'm taking pics of the athletes, he's running the food table

Tomorrow: Hope Pregnancy Center fundraising benefit dinner, must make hair appointment and find shoes to match dress, arrange to pick up babysitter sometime between the two.

Saturday: Work at New House (painting, install new cabinet hardware, drill hole in pool deck for the baby gate, put up curtain rods) Church service in the evening

Sunday: Band playing at local homeless shelter

It usually takes me a whole month to do all that stuff. This is going to be one memorable week.