Thursday, February 21, 2008

Aggravation. Grr.

edited to add:: *Warning: It's my blog, and I'll whine if I want to. Lest you think I'm a spoiled brat, please know that when I wrote this last night I was bone-tired and patience-less. I realize there are women whose husbands are serving overseas and they are totally alone with their kids. I completely admire and support these women, because after the 4 days described below, I know how difficult it is to be the only adult in the household trying to care for a young person. Also, please know that I am not angry with my husband. It is not his fault that the leaders of his group imposed three nights of rehearsal in a row.*

/end soapbox

I'm aggravated.

Aggravated, irritated, all-twisted-up-in-a-knot ticked off.

Hubby has joined another music group at our church. (Gasp! How horrible! Just kidding. That's not why I'm frustrated.) He's been a member of this second group for a number of months, and it's been great. He's had a wonderful time. This week, though, has just been tough.

This is the fourth night in a row he has been away at practice and has not returned before Lance goes to bed. The first night, Monday, was the rehearsal for the band that Hubby and I are both in, and for which we hire a babysitter. Tuesday and Wednesday he had extra practices for band #2 and tonight was their regular rehearsal. The Tuesday and Wednesday practices were supposed to be "just a run-through of one song." Both nights he was gone for over an hour. Tonight is the group's regular rehearsal which runs 2 1/2 hours.

I don't want to begrudge him his church involvement, but I've felt like a single parent all week. I was telling a friend about this and she started laughing at me. She works nights and was saying that she never sees her husband, and she was totally unsupportive. I know she wasn't trying to be mean, but my feelings were pretty hurt by this. She has chosen that lifestyle of working nights and not seeing her husband. But she is not alone with her one-year old for fourteen solid hours.

I'm okay if once in awhile Lance and I have a long day together. Maybe I'm spoiled. Hubby gets home at 6:30 each day, and just simply having another pair of eyes and set of arms makes a HUGE difference. Hubby often will do the bath and bedtime routine so I can get a bit of a break in the evenings. Lance usually goes to bed at 9:00, so it's only 2 1/2 hours of my day that are any different when Hubby has these long days, but let me tell you, those 2 1/2 hours certainly make a HUGE difference!

Now, though, after 4 days in a row of this, I'm beat. Purely worn out.

I want my mommy. Waaah.


Brent O. said...

You know who you should talk to - Don's wife. They have triplets, remember? :-D This is why Don can never go out to dinner with us or do anything else after work for that matter.

Beck said...

I don't blame you for being tired - those are long days.
Why is Lance's bedtime SO late? The Baby goes to bed at 7:30 EVERY night and his siblings go to bed at 8, no exceptions. Adults need adult time. Try pushing his bedtime back a little bit over a period time and you might start feeling more rested.
You need to talk to your husband about cutting back on his committments outside of the home.

Susan said...

It's hard when you're tired...and when you have a little person demanding your attention for a long stretch of time. On the other hand, it's hard NOT to celebrate that your hubby wants to be at CHURCH playing music.

I totally understand your dilemma. Having musicians in my own house, I also know how those rehearsals can "get away from you" and seem to never end.

I hope it all gets better soon and you get some alone time. I have a friend at work who told me that he gives his wife "free passes" every so often when she can just go and be and do what she needs to do. Then she extends the same to him. Interesting.


Haley said...

I'm with you girl, all the way! When Jackson was first born, my husband had a job where he worked 7a-7p and I was with the baby all day long. By the time Dave got home Jackson was in bed and I was exhausted.

Thankfully he doesn't have that job anymore, and only 2 nights a week do I have to do the bath and bed routine by myself.

Feel only gets easier from here...and deep down I know you know that! :-)

Damselfly said...

I know this doesn't happen very often -- all those rehearsals. But family comes before church.

Mamacita Tina said...

I get upset when my hubby works late nights and doesn't get home 'til the kids are in bed. When a person is alone with kids all day, with no adult interaction, it is truly exhausting. You must care for their every need. They need attention almost the entire time. Go ahead and complain, vent, it's good for you to get it all out! Blogs are good for that! Big hug sent your way...

Amber said...

I think we've all been there. I swear, some days the only thing that got me through was knowing my hubby would walk in the door at 6 p.m. But there was a time when he had tons of responsibilities of church. Most of them I tried not to begrudge but it is tough when they are taken away from the home.

I have to say that even though it sucks about my hubby's lay-off, I LOVE having him home.

And I am going to start saving all your inspiring verses. You really outdid yourself with Oncology Dropout. :-)

Anne/kq said...

I so sympathize with you. Jeff has been working about 95 hours a week, 6 days he's gone usually until after midnight. Sundays he's so exhausted he sleeps as soon as church is done. It IS hard. And I've got about 2 more months of this... *sigh*

I knew what I was getting into when I encouraged him to go into this field. And I DO like the money. But I still hate the hours.

Anyway, I feel for ya, girl. (((hugs)))